Understanding and solving conflicts
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- Aloha to Pohaku, The Wonderful Person I am Aman, an 11 and half years old teenager. I like your Huna. Me and mother learn the Huna from Your podcast and vast forum. I like your Cool Huna. I had dreadful flu last week and it was not going. So, I tried the pendulum exercise. Firstly I asked my Ku to show me Yes, No and I don’t know. It showed it correctly. then I asked Ku why do I have this cold? I named NO – Tiredeness, YES – Extra Curricular activites, I Don’t know – exams ( As I am having exams right now) Then I did pendulum exercise and ku showed me Yes and I Don’t know. Then I released those fears. I felt wonderful after that. I LIKE HUNA… Oceans of Blessings to all of you for this wonderful Work…
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Understanding and resolving conflicting beliefs
- Lots of feedback on the last show #62
- Resolving conflictign beliefs is the key to solving the difficult problems in life
- Illness is a reflection of conflicting beliefs
- Significant change is impossible if it conflicts with existing beliefs
What are conflicting beliefs and why are they so important to identify?
- A conflicting belief is when one significant belief within the ku directly runs counter to another belief and due to circumstances those beliefs must operate at the same time, placing them against each other.
- It is literally a battle against yourself which is why it is so damaging.
- Classic example:
- Raised in a healthy environment with strong family values – belief is formed that family is very important and the #1 priority.
- Observations in early life lead one to believe that one needs to be financially successful in order to live a good life.
- Throughout most of this person’s life, these beliefs operated just fine as he was single, working very hard to become financially successful, and his family was very supportive.
- Worked even after he got married as his wife was career oriented and they both worked hard to become successful.
- Having children, however, brought these beliefs into direct conflict. The drive to be successful, powered by the belief that you can’t have a good life otherwise, went right up against the family is #1 priority, because he could see the children were suffering because both parents worked.
- Classic example of how beliefs can go one for most of a lifetime and then suddenly be put into conflict with each other.
- These beliefs worked very hard, against each other. The success belief drove him to work hard, while the family belief made him feel terrible, to the point where he started getting sick.
- The illness manifested itself in the legs, developing arthritis. Legs = moving forward through life, which the current conflict was not allowing him to do.
- Solution: Once these beliefs were identified, the couple discussed the issue and decided that it would be OK to take a financial breather for few years until the kids were older.
- They reset their lifestyle by getting rid of the frills and reducing their expenses. The wife agreed to keep working while the husband would stay home and take care of the kids.
- The conflict was immediately resolved as was the difficulty in the legs. The husband was able to find a little time to write and ended up earning money writing columns. It didn’t replace the original income but combined with eliminating luxury items resulted in nearly no change in financial status.
- The husband spent tons of time with his kids, improving the health of the whole family, as the mom was able to work harder at her job as well.
- Conflicts don’t need to be deep seated to have an effect on you. If you think about it, most of the reasons why you get upset are due to conflicting beliefs.
- Quick example: many people get upset by being stuck in traffic.
- Why? One reason might be they have a strong belief that its important to be efficient and getting things done all the time.
- This of course conflicts with the fact of being stuck in traffic with little to do.
- How could this be resolved? Many ways:
- Avoid traffic!
- Figure out something to do while stuck in traffic (like listening to Podcasts!) so you can still feel like you’re getting things done.
- Understand the belief working against you and allow yourself to become unproductive while stuck in traffic.
- After the break: How to resolve conflicting beliefs.
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How to resolve conflicting beliefs
The key to resolving is to:
- Understand the beliefs at work.
- Understand how the ku came to accept those beliefs.
- Understand how the beliefs conflict with each other and why.
- Make an appropriate change the resolves the conflicting beliefs.
How do beliefs work?
- The Ku is a thinking computer, completely 100% logic based.
- The logic is executed from a system of pre-defined beliefs, which the Ku developed over time.
- By observing/listening to authority figures: parents, teachers, leaders.
- By the memories of its own experiences.
- New experiences/observations are compared against the existing belief network.
- Conflicts with existing beliefs are discarded/filed as irrelevant.
- Congruence with exiting beliefs are used to strengthen those beliefs.
- Entirely new ideas that don’t conflict with anything start their own "thread" and based on subsequent experience will either weaken or strengthen the belief.
- Important to understand that just because logic is at work doesn’t mean you won’t get completely unpredictable results, example:
- Mom says "don’t go out in the cold with wet hair, you’ll catch a cold".
- Ku accepts this as true.
- You go outside with wet hair, and sure enough you catch a cold.
- This strengthens the belief.
- Since you "know this to be true" you blow dry your hair to avoid catching a cold, further strengthening the belief.
- Unless you decide to understand the fundamentals and change this belief, every time you go out in the cold with wet hair you will catch a cold.
- Of course, catching a cold has very, very little to do with having wet hair.
How do you expose the beliefs underneath a conflict?
Here’s a technique good for conflicts that bring about strong emotions:
- Remove yourself from the emotion. "I am really angry" becomes "I am feeling anger".
- Allow the emotion to fully execute and remember to not allow the emotion to drive your actions.
- As it is happening, keep a 3rd person view and your question is, "Why am I feeling this anger? Why am I so upset?".
- Good Ku-mmunication and simple meditation will typically bring a whole collection of reasons.
- If you’re having difficulty, try using garden techniques. Bring forward a programmers/debugger/engineer/wizard/ who will tell you what is going on inside.
- Record the results.
Once you have a pretty good idea of the beliefs currently at work, you can then use basic logical analysis to find out which beliefs are conflicting and why.
Then comes the real work: making changes to remove the conflict. How?
- Eliminate the condition that allows those beliefs to come into play. e.g. Avoid traffic, leave earlier.
- Remove the stimulus that fires off either belief, e.g. listen to podcasts while stuck in traffic.
- Re-interpret the beliefs so that they don’t come into conflict, e.g. being stuck in traffic has nothing to do with my being efficient and getting things done. It’s a cost of doing business. No big deal.
Summary of how-to using the Huna principles in action:
- Ike: be aware of what it is that you want to change or heal.
- Kala: Let go of all the conflicting beliefs that prohit the change or are creating the dis-ease.
- Makia: Focus your attention on the new patterns that will resolve the conflict.
- Manawa: Do this especially when you feel a strong emotional response within.
- Aloha: Praise your own progress
- Mana: Maintain a confident expectation that E)verything I)s W)orking O)out P)erfectly
- Pono: You’ll know when you’re done when the symptoms of the conflict are gone.
- Identify a conflict that you want to resolve.
- Apply the techniques to understand the beliefs.
- Resolve the conflict in a way that works best for you.
- Share your story with us on the bbs!
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